The History of Apple Pie isn’t a book about the various different ways to make a delicious dessert; it is the name of a band. In fact, it is a horrible name for a band. Maybe the worst I’ve ever heard and that’s saying something. There was a chance, though, that this album could’ve made my low expectations (what with the worst name ever) seem trivial. It didn’t, which is a shame, because individually these parts are good. The problem is every song sounds virtually identical to the one that came before it.
There isn’t much to differentiate the album as a whole from the individual sum of its parts. The band doesn’t sound particularly cohesive and the vocals are muddled behind poor mixing. It’s like a Van Halen album after Sammy Hagar and David Lee Roth both left. Here’s part of the issue when you have a bad name and it’s not the entire issue, but it is definitely a part of it, you can’t make below average music.
With a name like The History of Apple Pie, people either expect poppy slop or garbage. Unlike bands with names that are ambiguous or great, bands with terrible names won’t be given the benefit of the doubt. It doesn’t matter if it’s your debut album. A good rule of thumb for a band would be to not want to embarrass people when they say your band’s name. I wanted to like the band to prove my own thesis wrong.
That thesis being that you can tell how good a band is by their name. The more thought a band puts into their name, the more they put into their music. This band has promise, you can hear it in the guitar play and in the instances where the vocals aren’t hidden by overzealous instrumentals, but there needs to be an intervention with that name and with the music. It can be done, but it’ll take a ton of work.